“Love” Has Many Different Meanings

(1) I love french fries. (2) I love the way I feel when I’m on vacation in Mexico. (3) I love my children. (4) I
love my profession.

All four of these statements are true for me, but the word “love” in each one describes a very different experience. In the first, it means I enjoy having french fries inside my mouth, the way they taste and then swallowing them down. Sentence number two describes a subjective experience of pleasure aroused by my environment. The third sentence applies to emotions I have about other people, while the fourth applies to a value or ideal that I hold.

Does it make any sense to use the word “love” to describe all of these experiences? Are “love” for your kids and “love” for french fries the same thing? On the surface, it seems they have little in common; on the other hand, there are types of love for other people that are quite similar to “loving” french fries.

You must have known men and women who fall in love and want to consume their love object. In everyday speech, we might describe them as overly possessive, or possibly obsessed. In those cases, what we’re calling “love” is virtually an act of consumption, where the other person is controlled and swallowed whole.

When I was growing up, I remember hearing adults cooing to little babies, “Ooh, you are so precious i just want to eat you!” They were articulating a primitive version of love we can all understand on some level. It’s related to the kind of “love” a very small baby would feel for its mother — not as somebody distinct and separate, with feelings of her own, but as something to be eaten from.

As we grow, we hopefully come to see the people in our lives as truly separate; we come to feel concern for their feelings as distinct people, to love them for reasons other than the way they make us feel. Sometimes we’ll even put their feelings above our own desires, though some of us never achieve that kind of love.

Are you able to see your parents as completely separate — not Dad who didn’t spend enough time with you, but John who never got to live out that dream of his; not Mom who is always criticizing you, but Mary who regrets never going to college. Can you see and care about their pain and disappointments in ways that have nothing to do with your own?

Now consider your exes. Do you have a lot of former romantic partners who used to excite you but now fill you with hatred? It’s possible that your relationships was a lot like scuba diving in Mexico, important because of how it made you feel.

Do you have kids? I’ve known parents who felt the need to control their children and dictate their choices; they wanted to make sure their kids led lives that would reflect well upon them as parents. “You have to go to law school so I can feel that I’m a success as a parent.”

In my opinion, that kind of love is awfully close to the love I feel for those french fries in my mouth.

Create A Passionate Night With Scented Candles

Are you looking for new and romantic ways to spice up your love life? Why not use scented candles to create a romantic atmosphere?

The methods of aromatherapy has long been put into use to change emotional behavior, amplify vitality, or improve sleep. The experience of smell has strong associative abilities. A little sniff of a distinct aroma can make us think of home, summers on a beach, or nippy fall mornings. Each aroma brings with it its own feelings and visuals in our thoughts, such as lavender or chamomile for sleep and peace. This same way of thinking applies to your love life.

To create a romantic night, place scented candles around the bedroom in a variety of areas. The plan is to bring about a tender shining light that will soften the look of your physical imperfections while letting your companion know right away that they are in for something exceptional!

Do you need help finding that correct scent? You could choose ordinary vanilla, but why not have a shot at something exclusively designed for generating that old romantic sentiment?

Cinnamon or Pumpkin Pie: The old adage is correct. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and smells that remind him of these baked items will immediately put him in the mood for love. These spicy smells are the best method to liven up your love life!

Jasmine: This earthy flowered scent might seem a tad old fashioned but it is a feminine aroma that brings to the surface the amorous side of even the most manly man. And what lady wouldn’t enjoy a little old fashioned romance?

Ylang Ylang: This fragrance has long been made use of as an aphrodisiac because of its calming and mood raising characteristics. A great option if your fellow can’t seem to unwind after a hard day at the office. This will have him thinking about anything but the paperwork waiting for him.

Oranges: The essential oils found in oranges were used by the Egyptians as an aphrodisiac and there was no greater temptress than Cleopatra. Known for ages for its arousal abilities, the fragrance of oranges may be the most potent of all the romantic scents. Use with caution! (Or wild abandon, the choice is yours.)

Juniper: This one comes from my own experience. Out of all the fragrances and body sprays that I have tried, this one had men stopping me in the street to compliment me on its fragrance (much to the displeasure of their dates!)

Shop for your scented candles meticulously, deciding on your favorite from the tips stated above. Use them to bring some extra romance to your date night and watch the sparks fly!